13 years ago today, J and I had an esquisse and painted the UP Carillon together. By the end of the day one gave the other a kiss (we still argue about who started it)

We were such kids then, only in our first year at UP, and I thought nothing would go wrong. I never thought I was the mushy sort of girl, but I loved him so much my stomach hurt and I could hardly breathe.

What an innocent.

Broke up. Went with someone else. Talked again. Got back together, a lot more wary and jaded. It wasn't easy at first because I would always remember our horrible breakup and how I lost direction, was so depressed, felt so helpless.

But di mapigil, and after some time I felt like...home. Like J was the base on which I would anchor myself. I would never really feel whole without him.

Then we both left Manila for work. I came back, he stayed abroad. We saw each other only about once every 2 years.

Phone calls, IM, occasional frissons of fear because I would think what if he met someone else and emailed me goodbye.

Last year he went back to Manila, we drove to UP again, sat in front of the Carillon. We didn't say "Happy Anniversary" to each other because we're really not that sort. But we both knew why we were sitting on the grass at the same exact spot we sat 12 years before.

And then he said "Mai, close your eyes" And I did.

And when I opened them he was holding a pair of jeans I was dying to have. I didn't know what to do. Laugh at myself for thinking I was getting a proposal, or cry because I suddenly thought "This is it!" and was mistaken.

I reached over for the jeans and said thank you.


Then he handed over the ring.

This entry was posted on 3/17/2005 at 3/17/2005 05:35:00 am. You can skip to the end and leave a response.