Although it is mostly the preparations for our wedding that is documented here, I've been spending a lot of time thinking of the actual marriage as well.

I turned 30 last year and it really wasn't any different - as I have generally been like this since my 20s. I've learned to be more patient and think more, but there wasn't the big change or the big bang or whatever you'd expect. It was more like the little fizz. As in "oh, my so-called should-have-been-roaring-rock-and-roll-20s, its over, where did it go? Wait! I haven't been baaaaaaaaaaaad!" fizzle. Fini.

So I'm marching valiantly on, hoping that 40 is indeed the new 30. At the least I can safely say that I won't turn into a skirt and blouse wearing, matrona. And I hope my mind stays as sharp as ever (yabang hehe).

Marriage? Now thats totally different. I think the main difference is that after you are married you are never just thinking of yourself anymore. There's a husband (in my case Joel) that needs to be part of every decision I make. It's totally not a bad thing, but its going to be quite an adjustment.

2 of my former colleagues used to rib me about how different I was when I was with Joel. They used to say I was a real bossy hard-riding bitch when it came to work, but once I was beside Joel I would be so docile and smile and be silent. They would say that I wasn't myself when we were together and that was BAAAD very BAAAAD . Hay nako. Totally the wrong view of it. I looked docile because I was contented, smiled because I was happy, and was silent because I didnt need to bitch. Hahah! Take that my cynical friends :P

So I hope that's a good portent of how we'll be once we live together. Wishful thinking ba? No naman. We're both mature people and we'll just have to keep working at it.

This entry was posted on 7/16/2004 at 7/16/2004 10:18:00 pm. You can skip to the end and leave a response.